Sea of Insanity
by SteerpikeSister
Summary: Alice's adventure on the way to China: pirates and teapots and jewels, oh my! Alice/Hatter
1. Chapter 1

Sea of Insanity

By Steerpike Sister

Disclaimer: i own nothing.

Author's Note: this story takes place in the burtonverse, directly after the end of the film. in my mind there is about a year and a half between the garden party and seeing Alice on the ship. i hope to make this story ten chapters and an epilogue.

Chapter one: the Voyage begins

As soon as the_ Wonder _was firmly out of Southampton docks and her crowd of well-wishers dispersed, Alice threw the hated corset overboard into the deep blue water. let the whales reclaim it, she thought. she could well do without and as it would probably be more than a year until she saw her mother again, no one would even know. she tugged her pale blue travelling coat more tightly against her, the wind that tangled through her long yellow hair chillier than she had expected.

"Did I just see an item of feminine apparel drift by?" said Lord Ascot, heading towards Alice. he was a tall, dour looking man with a melancholy yet quizzical aspect that belied the amiability beneath.

"You may have, I was not watching." replied Alice archly.

"Is that how it's going to be? You are indeed your father's daughter, as I am constantly reminded, these days. Come, lets get you settled in your cabin. We have a long trip ahead."

Alice's cabin was small but cosy, room enough for Alice and her maid on the top bunk. she liked the blue curtains and the pattern of roses on the carpet. there were several such cabins for it was a large ship, containing a few other passengers besides herself and lord Ascot. there was even a small study containing many books not far from the dining room where that evening she was introduced to Captain Spikenard and his crew. though Alice was scarce used to such introductions, she braced herself lest she lose her muchness and greeted each pleasantly, despite the quiet muttering about it being bad luck to have a woman on board from one grizzled looking deckhand.

the first few days aboard ship began the routine, as she arose attended by her maid Flossy, had breakfast with Lord Ascot, took the air on deck if it was a mild day, read, and played checkers with anyone who cared to play until evening. then it was time to change for dinner with the Captain who told outrageous stories of his time at sea, most of which Alice found she could not believe despite having a mind so broad she could pull it out of her ears and tie it under her chin! he was a pleasant fellow, however, and Alice found him excessively diverting and an accomplished checkers player.

Lord Ascot kept to his cabin for most of the journey so far, working on their plans for building an exclusive dock in Hong Kong for their fleet of trading ships. his assistant and several other company members had been sent on ahead some six months earlier with the intention of finding the perfect place for their new offices. As the days turned into weeks Alice would spend a few hours a day with him, poring over schematics and architectural plans, learning as much as she could about the business she was apprenticed in.

off the coast of Spain the weather began to grow hotter, so her sunbonnet and parasol became her constant companions, despite her determination to lose her unhealthy pallor, natural as it was. however, peeking out from behind her parasol to let the sun on her face earned her a scolding from Flossy whenever she was caught, which was often. a few freckles was all she wanted, mused Alice, and her whoop of delight when three such manifested on each of her cheeks was heard by the men climbing the rigging.

and so the days passed with the tedious monotony that had settled upon her life like winter snow since her return to Overland. yes it was more eventful, but she missed the spontaneity of that Wonderland. here, she created her own excitement and yes it was indubitably better than just going to parties and waiting to be married, but she could not help but wish she was not so in control of her life, that something would happen to her, rather than she happen to something as it had been for the past year. sometimes as she drank her tea, she had to physically restrain herself from flinging her teacup at the Captain! she doubted he had ever danced across the table in his life, and as such would not appreciate the gesture. She kept such thoughts to herself though, her maid being new and not yet used to her foibles. Flossy already seemed to think her new mistress quite addled in the head without the confidence that she harboured a wish to fling porcelain!


	2. Chapter 2

Sea of Insanity

By Steerpike Sister

Author's note: i own nothing. I hope you are enjoying this story. sorry the installments are so short, i'm just dying to get to the action!

Chapter two: Wave to Africa

With Africa in sight, Lord Ascot and Alice watched from the Bowsprit as they negotiated the Gibraltar straits.

"I wonder what your father would think of all this." lord Ascot said, leaning on the rail, tugging his moustaches. Alice sighed and took off her white gloves and tucked them in her pocket. "i suspect had he been alive, we would have made this trip all the sooner. "

"Yes, I believe so. Your father was the driving force behind most of our expeditions. And with the Suez canal we avoid the treacherous cape. I'm surprised no other company has tried this route before."

"I remember my Father saying the travelling was unimportant, anyone can do that. What matters is what you do when you get there. Falling down the rabbit hole is just the beginning, after all."

"the Suez canal is hardly the size of a rabbit hole, young miss!"

"Hardly. Falling down a rabbit hole would be more eventful, that is certain."

"it is not so- the Captain told me there have been pirates spotted in these waters."

"Surely not!" Alice exclaimed, "i thought they were extinct!"

"Well, they may not be the kind that you have read about in your history books, but they are still dastardly criminals, you can be sure about that!"

"I will be sure to question the captain on the matter at dinner." she replied grumpily.

"Do, I'm sure he would enjoy a chance to tell you his tall tales once again."

"As I was saying," she regarded him sternly "what matters is what we do when we get there. We must make friends with the locals, earn their trust and gain their confidence. I have been giving the matter some thought. Should we do well, might I suggest a tour of the country to better learn its resources?"

"Alice, you really are a wonder. Yes. We will hire guides and explore a little. But you should know that there will not be very much that needs our attention. My man Sampson should have everything under control. We will mostly be approving of what he has done already, and establishing an office and warehousing. We will be there in four months, god willing, may spend as much as six months sorting out the office then back home by next summer. You should look on this as a sort of holiday, a reward for all your hard work."

"Christmas in china? Very well. I suppose it is a sort of holiday. I feel as if I ought to relax but can't quite remember how. Since my father's death and Hamish's awful proposal and..." she stopped, not wanting to tell him about wonderland lest he think her mad.

"yes...the silly thing about that was, we all assumed you would be perfectly happy to accept Hamish. I for one was looking forward to having my old colleague's daughter as part of my family. But now I have your ready mind at my disposal, and as you and my son are unsuited, this way is just as good. I am content. Do you think you will marry?" he asked suddenly.

Shocked, Alice replied, "of that I have no clue. It would depend. A man content to follow me and my schemes? For I do not intend to stop work just because I'm married. And he must love me desperately, of course. I intend to marry for love. Intelligent, certainly. Must dress well, and by that I mean never wears brown; such a detestable colour. Sensible, to counterbalance me. Nice eyes. Green, for preference. I do think that green eyes look most sympathetic, don't you?"

"Alice, it will not be hard for you to find a man to fall at your feet: look at you! Barely twenty, a perfect figure, long yellow hair and clear skin, despite those absurd freckles you are so proud of: and smart enough to be my assistant to boot? You are a catch, my dear."

"i understand that. But I am a confirmed bluestocking, with such impulses I feel that I must be completely, unutterably bonkers."

"Alice, if I were unmarried and just a few years younger, it would not have been my son proposing to you that day." Lord Ascot said, causing Alice to blush furiously and grip the handrail with white knuckles.

"But," he laughed, " I do wear brown, and my eyes are blue. So even were I a bachelor I would be out of the running. But I will be on the look out for a smart, green eyed, sensible man who detests brown, that I think might be worthy of your love. Maybe one of the passengers fits the bill?"

That evening at dinner, Alice sat beside the Captain, determined to find out what she could about Pirates.

"Well, as there is some piratical presence in the Mediterranean, yes. But it is very unlikely that a large square rigger like the Wonder will attract their notice. These are populated waters and they should see we ride high, meaning we have no cargo of any weight. Might be the opposite on the return voyage though. But don't you worry your pretty yellow head about it- I always take on a few strong men in India, they are used to fighting pirates."

"goodness!" said Alice, "i had not considered that. I shall feel moderately safer once we reach India."

"Clearly you've never been to Singapore. We'll be in the Indian ocean in a weeks time. Everything will be fine, you'll see."

Alice dreamed. A cloud of iridescent blue butterflies swarmed around her, eventually settling and becoming a beautiful dress. She walked through a mushroom field with a mock turtle, danced with a green fox and sat at an empty table, and drank intangible tea. She could hear a party going on somewhere nearby. She drifted towards the noise, the shouting and..

Suddenly a loud banging at her cabin door startled her awake. Lord Ascot burst into the room, his clothes awry and missing his tie, shouting;

"Alice! We are being attacked by pirates!"


	3. Chapter 3

Sea of Insanity

By Steerpike Sister

Author's Note: thank you for your kind reviews. i have done my best with this chapter, it was more difficult than i expected. i had it all nicely spaced, then has scrunched it all up again. :(

Chapter three.

"Hide yourself Alice, I'm going to fight! Do not let anyone in except me till this is all over!" Lord Ascot said then ran from the room, pistol in hand. Alice jumped out of bed and locked the door securely.

"Miss, What's 'appening?" said Flossy, peeping over the edge of her bunk, brown curls askew.

"We are under attack, but Lord Ascot has assured me we will be safe."

"Oh miss, what if they break in!" she whimpered.

"They won't. We will stay silent and hope to be passed by. Shush now." Alice climbed into the top bunk with Flossy and tried to soothe her. After what seemed like a few hours the shouting seemed to fade, and Alice fearfully hoped that the Pirates had been seen off. Just then they heard a tapping, as of someone gently rapping at the cabin door.

"Could that be Lord Ascot, Miss Alice?" whispered Flossy.

"I think not," Alice whispered in reply, "Alistair would make himself known to us." The tapping continued, and Alice silently got down from the bed and approached the door.

"Please..." she head, muffled by the door. "Please let me in, I'm wounded.." came the gentle voice.

Should I let this person in? Alice wondered. It could be a fellow passenger, in need of care.

Alice edged closer to the door, listening intently. The tapping continued. "Please, I need help. The pirates have everyone up on the deck, working out who is the best ransom...we can save them..." the unseen person whispered. Alice made up her mind. If this were a pirate, he would have probably have broken down the door by now, not pleaded so plaintively for their assistance.

Alice steeled herself, summoning all of her muchness, and unlocked the door, still on its chain, and opened it a crack. She couldn't see his face, but the man on the other side was indeed dressed like a crewman, though not one she recognised. She took off the chain, and he almost fell into the room, and crawled to the bedside. He had indeed been wounded, Alice saw. His left arm cradled by his right, she could see bright red blood staining his Sailor's whites. She approached carefully after locking the door behind her.

"Flossy, we'll need bandages. Tear up that sheet? Oh, and get the water jug. Now sir, may I try to help you?" she knelt and touched his arm. As she did so, his head lifted to look at her, and she found herself staring into fiercely green eyes swirled with an unfamiliar purple bleeding into the whites. His straggly ginger hair fell in awkward locks about his tanned brown face, and she gasped.

"Your eyes...just like..." she shook herself. "But let me help you Sir. What is your name?"

"They call me Topper, Miss." he said, his eyes never leaving hers. She held his arm as he shrugged out of his jacket, revealing a shoulder wound that bled first red, then orange and purple, and where the blood oozed from the skin, deep dark blue with tiny iridescent lights.

"It ...needs cleaning, " Alice almost whispered, trying to keep her composure. She looked him over. "The bullet must have gone through, so I won't need to cause you further pain by digging the ball out." though she spoke calmly, she felt her stomach flutter and her heartbeat thundered in her ears. Taking the water, she washed the wound of its rainbow seepage, and firmly bandaged it, and used some makeshift bandages to make a sling for his currently useless arm. Throughout her ministrations the sailor remained stoically silent, those strange eyes in that dark face swirling from green and purple to green and yellow.

"Thank you, Miss..." he said. "We must save the people from the Pirates. Will you help?" his voice was soft and gentle. Alice found herself believing him despite his odd, yet familiar appearance.

"Yes, Mister Topper. Do we have a plan?"

"Of a sort, although I do not normally have a plan. A route, a wish, but all require forethought, and what we need now is afterthought. I have an idea. It is not yet a plan, but it might suffice. Follow me, Ladies." he leapt up sprightly, and beckoned.

If there was ever a time when muchness was called for, it was now, Alice thought, following the sailor through the nest of corridors towards the deck. Using the crew's exit hatch, they made their way towards the main deck, slowly and crouching low so as not to be seen. They could see the passengers and crew kneeling with their hands on their heads as the pirates pointed their pistols. They were a greasy, mean looking lot, smelling as if they had never bathed in their rotten lives. Alice watched as the pirate captain ordered their prisoners into a huddle and began to bind their wrists. Spotting Lord Ascot among them, Alice sighed. She had hoped he had somehow escaped, and might be like them, trying to free everyone.

As she watched, Alice began to have a thought. It was a slippery one, however, and it was a worrying few minutes before she caught it securely. When she was sure of her grip, she told her comrades.

"I can see that might just work, but it lacks the important detail of the thing that which is needed." Topper said after she had explained her plan. "Would the Captain's cabin hold what we need?" she asked.

"It is possible. I shall scamper down and see what I can find. Stay secret and safe, Miss Alice." he whispered, and disappeared back down below.

"How did he know your name, Miss?" Flossy asked anxiously.

"I am the only young Lady aboard ship, Flossy, its not that difficult to divine who I might be." she replied, but she did wonder. The man was altogether too similar to.. but no. It was not possible. And besides he was so deeply tanned and robust, she couldn't imagine it. The very man in question appeared by her side in very little time, so it seemed to Alice, interrupting her musings.

"I have what might serve, a box of gold sovereigns." he passed it to her, favouring his wounded arm. The box was heavy, and needed both hands to hold it.

"This ought to do, though the captain will lament its loss. Help me up, Flossy, Tarr...Topper."

The Sailor and the maid did their best, and eventually Alice stood on the poop deck, box in hand, in full view of the assemblage.

"Ahoy Pirates!" she shouted loudly.


End file.
